You’re an adult woman; you have your own space, your own place, and your own income. You have friends, interests and a social life. But you don’t have someone to share your life with.
So, what do you do? You go looking for love. It’s a normal enough thing to do in our culture. But it doesn’t always work out. Why not?
Most women assume that most half-way presentable men should be able to provide them with the right kind of love… until experience proves otherwise. Frequently, the received wisdom that love is blind means women don’t give too much rational thought to the possible candidates.
Not ideal when it comes to something as important as affairs of the heart. A better starting place might be: which men should I exclude from my search? Who are the guys you should never date?
When it comes to love there are, apparently, no rules and no guidelines. But what if you create some? What if you establish criteria, the way you do in other areas of your life?
Suppose you were buying a dog. Chances are you’d choose a breed that fits with your lifestyle. You’d be unlikely to opt for a high maintenance breed whose needs you knew you couldn’t accommodate. There are always plenty of other dogs, and other breeds, out there. Why wouldn’t you apply do as much when it comes to a prospective life partner?
Let’s take a brief tour at the dangerous breeds — dangerous, that is, to your health, your emotional well-being, your sanity, and your finance — of guys you should never date.
1. Mr. Doesn’t Do An Honest Day’s Work
His dreams may sound inspiring, but do you want to end up bankrolling him? Long-term?
2. Mr. Roving Eye
His roving tendencies suggest a lack of regard for your feelings. Is that what you want for the long-term?
3. Mr. Alcohol/Substance Abuser
He’s a fabulous guy — or, at least, he would be if he didn’t have this addiction. His addiction could just as well be pornography or gambling. Then there is the underlying problem that is fueling the habit which he is not addressing.
When you agree to be with someone who is not addressing their problem, you end up shouldering their problem. Further down the line, you can make demands on him to deal with the problem, but why should he? You didn’t make it a precondition of the relationship.