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15 Things I’m Embarrassed To Tell My Future Husband I Need

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Can you handle it, future husband of mine?

When it comes to meeting my husband one day, I’m a little worried. Not because I’m afraid it won’t happen (OK, that’s a complete lie, but moving on), but because I’ve been single for a while. And though this solo stint has taught me at ton about my values and desires, it’s also has given me time to think about what I need in my marriage.

Some are a little unrealistic, some are must-haves, and others will probably pop up along the way, but in no particular order, here are the things that I’ll need from my future husband.

I need you…

1. To say — and write — loving things to me a lot.

I’m absolutely in love with words. And especially loving words. Even if it’s as simple as “I love you” on a Post-It by the Keurig once a week, do it. I’ll also settle for a text message (or 20), too.

2. To ask my dad for my hand in marriage.

And my mom, too, while you’re at it. I know it’s old-fashioned, creepy and a bit anti-feminist, but you know what? I don’t care. I’m convinced he’ll say “yes,” and though you might have to fly to North Carolina (please don’t Skype, it’s tacky) to ask, just think: My dad will totally make you a steak and pop you a beer while you’re there!

3. To be adept at balancing our incomes.

Though I’m pretty financially secure, I worry about having enough money more than anything else. I save more than the average twenty-something, but I have this irrational fear about it all disappearing. (Maybe because my NYC rent cost nearly double what most mortgages do?) I need you to be grounded on the topic and calm me down when I freak out.

4. To give me a lot of space.

I was raised an only child and those type of kids can go one of two ways: strong and self-made, or spoiled. Luckily, I’m the former but I’ve always had plenty of alone time and it’s important to me. It’s not you — I love you already without even meeting you — it’s just that I have to have space to clear my mind. I promise to always come home to you.

5. To have A LOT of sex with me.

Oh, and I want a lot of babies, too. I know that gotta-have-you-right-now kind of sex changes the longer you’re in a relationship (and especially when children come into the picture), but I always want to feel physically connected to you.

And I want you to always view me as the sexiest woman you’ve ever known. In return, I promise to make an effort, even when I’m absolutely exhausted. I hope you will, too.

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