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5 Excuses People Give For Cheating (That Are TOTAL Lies)

There have been a million articles written about why people cheat, but they’re never written by the right people.

Sure, there are some written by people who’ve been cheated on.

And there are a bunch written by people who continue to cheat, excusing their behavior.

But I don’t think I’ve ever read an article about why cheaters cheat written by someone like me — someone who was a cheater most of her life, but has finally broken the cycle for good.

So as a person who has done the hard work — and believe me, it was hard — to heal from a life of infidelity and come out the other side with a deeply happy marriage, I want to bust five popular myths about cheating.

Because if we keep believing these lies, we will just keep cheating. 


1. Cheaters don’t really love their partners.

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Cheating has nothing to do with love. At least not in most cases.

I loved the people I cheated on more than I could explain, particularly my husband, and I still cheated.

Why? Because cheating and love are totally unrelated.

So, what’s the reality? Most chronic cheaters I know are actually more likely to cheat when they care a lot for someone.

Because loving someone that much is actually terrifying. Cheating is a way of establishing a self-sabotaging boundary around their hearts, or setting up a backup plan in case the person they love dumps them.

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