I get it: being a mom is stressful, no matter if you’re working outside of the house part-time, full-time, or not at all (and you’ve tried all three since we’ve had kids!).
I, your husband, probably don’t tell you enough that I see what you’re doing, keeping our house running, sometimes like a fine-tuned machine, other times like a clunker in need of an oil change, but running, nonetheless. If it was up to me, I’d probably be calling roadside assistance (aka grandma, babysitters, basically anyone who would take my call) every single day, begging for help.
You’re strong, you’re forward thinking, you’re the backbone of our family. But I can also tell that all the responsibility gets to you sometimes.
Even when you act like everything’s fine, I can see how close you are to losing it, and you completely losing it? It affects us all. I want to bring you back from the edge. I want you to feel supported.
So please listen when I tell you what I’m really thinking when I see how stressed you are.
1. I see how much you do, even when I don’t thank you for it.
I appreciate that I come home to a nice house, a hot dinner, and two kids who are happy, fed and thriving. I remember that weekend you were out of town, and I know how much it takes to keep everything in order; it’s like swimming upstream.
But my day is stressful, too, in different ways, and sometimes I’m too preoccupied with work to remember to say thank you for doing the laundry, cleaning the bathroom, caring for the kids, and still finding time to make me dinner. I’ll try to remember to express my gratitude more.
2. Communicate clearly with me when you’re about to lose it so I can help.
We all know that you’re Superwoman, but even she needed an occasional break. When you feel like you’re going to go bananas if you have to wash one more sippy cup, pick up one more dried piece of Play-Doh, or tell our kids to eat their dinners one more time, I’m there to help, but you have to ask for it. I’m not a mind reader, and admittedly, I don’t see all the mess or know what the kids should be doing at every minute like you do.
I know it’s not your favorite thing to admit defeat, but when you feel defeated, please tell me. I promise to help.