Marriages these days have been a wreck and the reasons are not far-fetched at all. Here are 6 of the most pressing concerns:
1. You stop trying to impress each other. I’ve seen this happen to a good majority (AHEM, all) of my friends. The resounding chorus from married couples I know seems to be: “Once you’re married, you can stop playing the game.” By “the game” I mean winning your spouse over. “We’re married now so I don’t have to worry about continuing to make a good impression on my husband/wife because they’re stuck with me.” I hate that concept. I don’t want to be impressed by my husband because I’m keeping score; I want to be impressed because it shows that I’m worth making the effort for. If I’m the most important person in the world to you, take a little time to show me that….for the rest of my life.
2. You’re not hot anymore.
The appearances of many couples I know seem to change drastically within the first few years of marriage. I’ll never forget one guy friend confiding in me, “I never knew she didn’t have blonde hair until after we were married and she started letting her roots grow out.” Here’s the thing: It’s not about the hair; it’s about the overall principle. It’s as if couples no longer feel the need to look their best because they already have someone legally bound to them. Newsflash: we are sexual beings and we are attracted to what looks good. By no means am I saying look good or else he’ll cheat on you; I’m saying don’t give up on your appearance just because you’re married. I don’t need a Brad Pitt look-alike; I just want one that cares enough to try and be attractive to me and vice-vera. In healthy polyamory, there’s no competition but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t aware of the fact that other women were trying to impress my man. Same goes for marriage: If you’re not impressing your significant other, someone else will. Trust me.