If you truly want the best relationship possible, don’t leave the fate of your “happily in love” connection to luck or chance. Trust me, couples who thrive for the long-term actively choose behaviors that keep them in a good place with each other.
1. Spend time together.
It is staggering how many couples come to my office having not spent a single meaningful moment together since their last session. I know, I know — Kids and jobs quickly derail your chances of alone time. But come on! You can’t connect if you never spend time together. It’s the most obvious and basic step of keeping love alive.
So get with it, pull out your calendars, set a date to spend some time together and then honor it. Create a space (sans kids) where you can breathe together — that is, when meaningful connection and conversations occur.
2. Know your partner’s love language
This one is so important. Just because your mom sang your praises for cleaning up your room doesn’t mean your partner is as impressed by the act. We each value different loving behaviors and gestures in our relationship. Often, couples have completely different love languages.
If you don’t know what you’re partner’s is, ask. Your honey has probably tried to share theirs, but you may have missed it. So, find out today.
Just ask, “What things have I done that make you feel the most loved?” Perhaps it will be the time you surprised her by cooking dinner. Perhaps his will be just touching him affectionately. Or that time you threw him that surprise birthday party.
Discovering your partner’s love language makes showing appreciation and affection truly fun again.