Back in the day — before women became more independent (thanks, women’s rights movement!) — gender roles were clear and well defined. For the most part, dating was easier: A man courted a woman and both of them knew the end goal if courtship went well … marriage.
Now that both genders are evolving socially, dating is far more complicated.
“Hanging out” and “hooking up” have replaced traditional courtship. Sex is no longer sacred and potential partners are far quicker to jump in the sack.
Some would consider this new direction advantageous. Yet despite this, many men and women seek dating advice that helps them find the meaningful connection they still yearn for (and haven’t found despite these “advancements” in modern dating).
Having that meaningful connection, one that’s more than skin-deep, takes effort but is immensely rewarding. The real difference with men and women is that each goes about looking for this connection in different ways.
In a moment, we’ll look at what you can do to date successfully. But first, let’s look at some seriously outdated dating approaches that just DON’T work for you anymore, men. If you’re doing one or more of these things, you’re unknowingly repelling women of worth.
- Focusing mainly on your job and not making dating a priority.
- Misrepresenting yourself in your online profile. (Examples include not being truthful about your height, appearance, age, interests, etc.)
- Being closed off to women who aren’t in your desired age range.
- Getting overly caught up in a woman’s appearance and measurements.
- Sending boring messages, one-size-fits-all messages or cheesy pick up lines to women online.
- Texting and emailing for weeks, instead of talking on the phone and asking her out.
- Saying what you think she wants to hear and not meaning what you say.
- Taking advantage of a woman’s money, generosity, sex, fragile state, etc.
- Dragging things out with the wrong woman because there’s no one else you’re interested in.
- Leading a woman on by making her think you’re dating exclusively when you’re also seeing other women.
- Trying too hard and giving off the energy of desperation.
- Focusing on sex too much. (Examples include making sexual innuendos, saying what you think she wants to hear so that she’ll have sex with you, and rushing/pressuring a woman to have sex.)
- Dating women who deplete your energy. (Examples include women who take advantage of you, are drama queens, selfish, too critical or hypersensitive.)
Guys, here’s how to date more women of worth — and enjoy more dates that lead to meaningful connection.
1. Be your true self
Present yourself as the same person online and offline. Women are pleasantly surprised to meet a man who portrays himself accurately. Trust is necessary and starts with being honest about the superficial things (i.e. height, appearance, age, interests, etc.).
Communicate openly about who you are, your beliefs, your views on life and love, etc., so that your dates gets to know who you truly are. Let her make an honest choice if the real you is right for her.
2. Be a gentleman
Treat a woman the way you’d like a man to treat your sister, daughter or someone you care about; this means dating responsibly. Take care of your appearance and hygiene. Be a man of your word. Be well-mannered, courteous and respectful in your words, behaviors and actions.
Take the time to learn who she is and what she’s about, and share who you are with her. Let things unfold as they’re meant to instead of trying to rush having sex with her. When you are a gentleman, having sex will happen naturally.
3. Have integrity
Be honest. If at the end of a date, you don’t wish to see her again, don’t say, “I’ll call you and let’s do this again.” Empty words and empty promises create false hope and end up being more hurtful. In this situation, kind honesty is best.
Say something like, “Thank you for meeting me. I really enjoyed talking with you, though I didn’t feel a romantic connection. I wish you well in life and love.”