Alright, guys. Finally, after years of playing the field, of jumping from one relationship to another, of being in relationships you’re not really committed to, you find the one. Your dream partner.
If you want this relationship to last, you need to do a psychic makeover, because when you were relationship-surfing, you developed a boat-load of really bad habits.
In relationships that have an expiration date, consciously or unconsciously, you’re doing things to keep you from getting hurt. So that when the time comes, you can drop her without too much fuss — and certainly without any (for you) heartbreak.
If you hang on to these bad habits, they will drive your hot new relationship into the ground. Put another way, you have some neurons to rewire.
This list doesn’t cover everything, but it’ll give you an idea of what to look for, which is anything that pops you emotionally or physically out of the relationship or keeps you from digging deeper into it. So, if you want to make your relationship last, kill these 3 habits:
1. You have one foot out the door.
This is an obvious one. If you’re spending time with a woman you know you’re going to leave, you’ve got your sonar pinging 24/7 for other possibilities.
You’re checking out other women.
You still have a profile up on OKCupid.
You haven’t let the women in your pipeline, your casual partners, and hook-up buddies know that you’re off the market.
Fantasizing about other women. (Ah, the sex is so much better.)
Flirting with someone other than your partner.
You may be thinking, “Calm down Coach, there’s no harm in a little daydream about being twerked by some rock star or doing a little extra-curricular flirting.”
You need to understand that if you have a habit of moving from one woman to the next, you’ve wired your brain to make that happen. If you want to play for keeps, you need to rewire. The behaviors listed above will not support and nurture a committed relationship. Put both feet solidly inside the door and keep them there.