5. Putting so much energy into the idea of a fairy-tale romance that we’re disappointed with anything less.
6. Waiting for someone to find us, instead of going out and finding someone ourselves.
7. Thinking that a perfect relationship should be easy. Relationships require work and compromise; a perfect relationship means doing those things well.
8. Dropping our friends when we’re falling in love. Friends help define who we are and we need them when things get tough.
9. Thinking that getting a boyfriend or husband will solve all our problems. No one can fix our lives for us!
10. Using the silent treatment. Our partners can’t read our minds; he won’t know what’s wrong unless we suck up and tell him.
11. Not asking for what we want in bed. It can be as little as an appreciative moan when he does something good or as much as a frank discussion about our fantasies. Again, he can’t read minds and we’ll both benefit from knowing what we find pleasurable.
12. Denying that there’s a problem in our marriage or relationship, instead of facing it and asking ourselves what needs to be done. Problems don’t usually go away on their own. Letting them fester only makes it worse.