Why Texting Is DANGEROUS To Your Dating Life (No, Seriously.)
According to an article in USA Today, a new survey by Christian Mingle and J Date shows texting is rapidly changing the way we meet and communicate with potential new dates.
Every day, singles are letting their fingers do the talking for a variety of reasons:
Up to 38 percent of singles aged 21-50 (men and women) say it’s an easy way to set up a date.
It minimizes initial rejection and allows people to make a quick exit.
It’s a safer way to flirt, since you can plan a smart quip and avoid awkward silences that crop upon the phone or in person.
It’s more casual than the phone and is considered less intrusive.
It takes a lot less energy with short comments that get the point across quickly.
It provides more control over conversation length versus the phone which can use up a lot of time.
I’ve heard a lot about texting when dating from my dating coaching clients. Some men love to text sweet little comments daily, but never take things to the next level to have a conversation or ask women out. In turn, these women feel frustrated and confused by these texting relationships.
On the flip side, some women text every detail of their day, which men feel is over-communicating and invasive and turns them off.
Mostly, singles enjoy the convenience and casualness of texting but there is a major social downside to this trend.
People are not building face-to-face conversation and flirting skills, making those first meetings after texting potentially more difficult than ever.
What makes texting when dating preferred during the first stage of getting to know someone?
Communication is far less intimate when you don’t hear someone else speaking. So much information can be picked up from someone’s voice. The inflections and nuances often give away emotional cues that are completely missing when you text.
As singles seek to lower the social risk and avoid rejection, they are likely making snap decisions about texting partners that limit their love opportunities.
In addition, hiding behind technology can backfire in the long run, as your willingness to be social diminishes over time.
Lower number of attendees showing up for singles dances and events, like mixers, is evidence that this is already happening.
The good news is, if you’re good at (and enjoy!) talking to people live and in-person, your odds of finding love are going up! This is why my dating advice is to practice flirting on a daily basis by smiling at men, striking up a conversation and simply being friendly.
These are all things you can’t do from behind a phone.
Texting is great for quick communication to set up a date, send a quick hello or share a fun photo. But it cannot replace traditional methods that help you really get to know your date.
Conversations still need to be a mix of face-to-face, telephone and texting in order for intimacy to develop and a deeper connection to blossom.